Singled Out: A Gallery of Eligible Singles
Match.com. eHarmony. J-Date. Christian Mingle. Sites like these have made millions from single people looking to enter a relationship, get laid or just find a platonic house husband. But sites that charge are just in it for the money.
ComedySmack is proud to announce it’s own, non-profit, online dating service. Below are the first crop of candidates. If someone catches your eye, and you want to pursue an epic romance with them, just email email@example.com. So without further adieu, here are your eligible Bachelors and Bachelorettes:
(Warning: Contains language you can say on cable now)
Everyone?s a sucker for a great smile. And for a great sucker punch in the middle of an argument. Which is one of her cute little foibles.
With four rooms total (including the boiler room), and a half bath, this man?s mom?s basement might as well be a palace. Could you be his princess?
Turn Ons: People breaking into his house. Turn Offs: People not breaking into his house.
If you can get past the downsides of her looks and wealth, she actually has a really great personality.
He?s the tanning champion of North Dakota. Perfect for women looking for eye candy with a state title to their name.
He?s just looking for the right woman to tame him. Ladies, if you?re into bad boys, you could do worse. (Note: ?total perv? bad boys, not ?motorcycle and sunglasses? bad boys).
This shirt has an asterisk to it. If you can afford a combo meal at Long John Silver?s, you can afford her. Bonus points if you can Supersize and spring for extra hush puppies.
Pros: He?s a good kisser. Plus, he know a good dentist should anything, you know, go wrong… Read the rest
The Top 10 Worst Celebrity & Entertainment Moves of 2011
Lots of stuff happened in 2011. Sad stuff like Ryan Reynolds' triple whammy of Green Lantern and divorce and Green Lantern. Bad stuff like Casey Anthony getting away with…a 7-figure book deal. And rad stuff like Bridesmaids and Community. So from The Donald to Kim Kardashian to Charlie Sheen, here are some of the disasters that made us so grateful we live in a world of 24-hour news coverage…
1) Hugh Hefner- Playboy's entire top-secret nude picture gallery of Lindsay Lohan (which only cost a reasonable $1 million) was leaked online in its entirety before publication because of poor internal security. In other words, Hefner made Lohan's recent financial troubles look like savvy decision making. Also, his fiance, Crystal Harris, left him five days before their wedding for Dr. Phil's son. Making fun of a 98-year old for that would be wrong. But so would not repeating that it was for Dr. Phil's son!
But even more embarrassing for Hef was NBC's (cancelled) The Playboy Club show. Sure, Hef didn't create it. He didn't put it on the air. But he could have refused to do that voice-over narration in the pilot where he claimed that Playboy was the birth of feminism and the sexual revolution. Really, Hef? And here I thought it was anti-suffragette hero William Winslow Crannell this whole time.
Here's one of the promos for The Playboy Club. You can practically see the show wiping the oozing feminism off its face.
2) Kim Kardashian- The reality star got married to that dude for like $18 million plus some free samples of her own perfume (E! has really good negotiators. Aside from that $18 million). She and that dude (Kris Humphries) got divorced like 72 days later. Now she's giving all the money to charity.… Read the rest