The only thing worse than not having anything to do this weekend is having something to do and watching a Pawn Stars (guys!) or Real Housewives of Madison County (ladies!) marathon instead. So here is your stuff to do. Assuming you like live comedy and have a DVR you can record Pawn Stars/Real Housewives on. Because the only thing worse than not doing anything this weekend is missing those marathons because you were out.

DANZIG NEEDS A HUG @ Three of Cups

Charlie Kasov debuts his new monthly standup show this Thursday at Three of Cups. Performing comedy in the standing position will be Keith Alberstadt, Dan St Germain, Calise Hawkins, Bryan Bruner, Erik Bergstrom and RG Daniels. Oh, also a Danzig impersonator will be co-hosting with Charlie. So if you like your comedy with a side of heavy metal, this show is your comedic soulmate.

Details: Danzing Needs A Hug, Thursday, Sep. 22nd, 8pm @ Three of Cups (1st Ave. & 5th St.) FREE

And here’s the real Glenn Danzig getting knocked out in one punch (warning grandparents and schoolchildren: naughty language!):

MIDDLE EARTH @ The Creek and The Cave

To some people in Manhattan, Long Island City, Queens might as well be in Mongolia. But if you can locate a 7 Train stop this Friday, the best live show inspired by crazy cults and conspiracy theories is well worth a 20 minute trek. Certifiably insane comedian/performance artist Leo Martin hosts the insanity, which features standup, sketches and a full explanation of the “Middle Earth” conspiracy theory. (FYI, hobbits are the least of your worries). On the show this month are Terry Cross, Brian Frange, Annie Lederman, Amber Nelson and Gabe Pacheco. ALSO, new to the show, there will be a Lottery drawing with one audience member picked to perform a guest spot! Yay!

Details: Middle Earth, Friday, Sep. 23, 10pm @ The Creek and the Cave, 10-93 Jackson Ave. Long Island City (FREE)
Subway: Vernon Blvd – Jackson Av (7 Train)

Here is Leo Martin pulling some pranks in Central Park:

GET LUCKY @ O’Hanlons

Get Lucky is a free show every Saturday that showcases a unique blend of club and alt-scene comics, hosted by Gabe Pacheco. Conveniently located atop the East Village, Get Lucky is the perfect stop for a little comedy before you head out to party the night away at hip, edgy East Village venues like the new IHOP (14th St.) and Starbucks (3rd St.). Performing are Adrienne Iappaluci, Lucas Molandes and Yannis Pappas.

Details: Get Lucky @ O’Hanlon’s Irish Bar (349 East 14th St. & 1st Ave.), 8pm, FREE

Speaking of cults (see Middle Earth above), here’s Gabe Pacheco launching his own: