This has been quite a summer for reality show talent competitions. First, American Idol ended with a ratings bang in May, proving it’s still a juggernaut. Then The Voice gave NBC its first hit since their 1970′s Evil Knievel miniseries (aside from a few in the 80′s and 90′s, but still, it’s been a while). Then America’s Got Talent scored it’s best season yet. And, finally, Glenn Beck got fired from Fox News as part of his triumphant win on the finale of Who Wants To Be The Most Batsh*t Crazy Human Alive? But let’s be real, no one cares about the winners of these things- it’s all about the losers. And on that note, here are a few of the best talent show audition fails ever:

Who knew that leaving your Lithium, Prozac, Zoloft, Haldol, Librium, Ritalin, Lexapro and Valium at home could cause problems at your audition? (From American Idol)

Sex Sells. Except when you name yourself after it. And dance like this. And did I mention naming yourself after it? (From So You Think You Can Dance)

“Bladder Buddy” from American Inventor. Actually, they already invented this. It’s called Starbucks and it’s yours for the price of pretending to look at the menu as you walk by.

Some Girl-on-Girl action. The Whoopi Goldberg/Elizabeth Hasselbeck kind, not The Ellen/Portia Kind. (From X-Factor)

Sadly, they didn’t even award this woman “Breast In Show”…ba-dum-ching. (From America’s Got Talent)

Here’s a very happy clip from The Soup about an audition for the very sad reality show Toddlers and Tiaras. Looks like this “tot mom” knows that the easiest way to get away with murder is to stop at killing their soul!

And, finally, what would this list be without some auditions that were actually intended to be funny. Obviously they wouldn’t be on this list if they actually were, but here’s a quick look at some of the worst auditions from Last Comic Standing. (Which, incidentally, failed its own Season 7 ratings audition and didn’t advance to the Season 8 round).