Swan Swap

Everybody keeps talking about Natalie Portman’s bravura, tour de force, groundbreaking, pretty swell performance in The Black Swan. I went to see it and, sure, she does some good acting stuff in it. But what really deserves the Oscar? Her fragile ballerina in The Black Swan or her Natalie Portman in Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis? It’s not too late to retroactively give both Portman and Galifianakis an Oscar for this 2009 episode of the webseries.

Jeff Bridges and Sandra Bullock won’t miss the ones they got last year anyway. They’re both about to get new ones for True Grit and Miss Congeniality 3.

Also, Portman just announced yesterday that she’s pregnant. We give up our seats on the subway for pregnant ladies, shouldn’t we at least give up our Oscars as well, Sandra?

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The Last Supper

Easter is coming. In other words, the most boring holiday of the year for adults is upon us. I remember the Easter egg hunt I went to as a kid featured a second hunt afterwards for adults. The eggs were filled with little liquor bottles. They seemed to have fun.

Other than that, every attempt I have seen to co-opt the holiday for childless adults and make it fun has bombed as hard as the Paas-coated eggs I used to hurl at cars. Point being, if you’re bored this Sunday, you’ll at least have this video to watch.

Ted & Gracie: The Surprise

Jena Friedman & Co. are back with another episode of the seriously creepy, seriously funny (for serious) web series “Ted & Gracie.”

Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself

With new polls out this week showing President Obama leading Mitt Romney by an average of nine points across the twelve major swing states, his campaign is starting to realize he needs a game changer. And as the old political saying goes…(from The Onion)