by shap on August 20, 2008. [Web Shorts]
Web Video: Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election (from Onion News Network)
The media is so jumpy this campaign season that each time a candidate blinks, every pundit in sight weighs in on the fallout (e.g. “Mississipians HATE blinkers”). Here, the Onion News Network takes an up close look at Election ’08′s deciding factors.
Cory Haim: 1980′s Tween Casanova
In recent years, eternally 15-year old pop star Justin Bieber and Twilight vampire/werewolf Robert Lautnerson have dominated the hearts and bedroom posters of tweenage girls. But who were tweens way back in 1989 pining for? Cory Haim of “the two Corys” fame, of course. Here is a video Haim made upon leaving his first rehab stint to ensure his middle school fan base that he was still ready to be their heartthrob throughout the 1990′s, surely. Assuming Jason Priestly and Luke Perry don’t come along, that is.
Adventures of the Pretentious Bum
Every neighborhood has one. That bum that’s always saying pretentious things. Ours lives on the corner stoop and is always going on about how he doesn’t own a TV and only watches documentaries and European cinema.
I was only a little kid in the 1980′s, but I hear this product used to fly off the shelves like the iPod 4.
Shap Sweeney is Editor-in-Chief of ComedySmack and a rumored 2012 Presidential candidate. He is the veteran of two wars, and was decorated by former President George Washington (I-VA) for distinguished service in the Continential Army. As a comedy writer, he has worked with top producers and talent including Buster Keaton, Shakespeare and Don Johnson. His first book, Gone With The Wind, has been sold to Hollywood for three figures.
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